Chyla Mashelle

2010-12-01T23:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I want to start by saying I am your biggest fan, but you know that. This season is my favorite of alll!!!!!!!! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! So please send me every loved one's list for Christmas because they are stubborn and when I ask they tell me they want nothing! So I figure they sent you a list because who doesn't?

On my list Santa can you just buy me this?

Thanks Santa I sure love you!

P.S. How old are you?

Love, Me

I Just LOVE Her!

2010-11-11T00:18:00.000-08:00

This is my sister, Nicole! There are many reasons why I love Nicole today though, she gave me a smile when I so desperately needed it. I wasn't having a great day at work, I was almost in tears in fact. Everyone was in a bad mood guests and co-workers. Tips were TERRIBLE! I just felt like nothing could go right. Close to the end of my shift I snuck to the back to check my phone to see if I was even a little bit popular....I had a picture message that looked like this:

The text read: Did you know you look at me while I'm working..... Well ya do!

I automatically teared up (Ok I'm a little sensitive lately so mock me if you must) and thought if nothing goes right in the day who cares because I have family and friends that love me and remind me of that with the funniest and nicest little things in life. So Nicole, thanks for reminding me. I love you!

Run Away With Me?

2010-11-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

So if any of you talk to me on a regular basis you know I'm training for a marathon....the San Francisco Marathon next year on July 31st. I know I'm crazy! I thought there is no way I can run that far....well watching Biggest Loser last year I thought yes I can if they can do it I can do it! Then I never did ANYTHING about it. I went to the gym still on a regular basis but there wasn't running involved.
Then May of this past year came around the family got together I made sure I went to the gym in Boise everyday with Kassy (those of you who don't know, she's my older sister). She is inspiring!!! She pushed me she showed me new moves! I loved it. She mentioned a marathon I was all for it. Well I went home and started running on a daily basis.
I am happy to report that after about 4 months of on & off again training I am back on the saddle. I go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I try to not run less than 4 miles a day and set goals for myself at the beginning of each week on how far I can run each week. I went from a non runner to a machine. I would like to say I've slimmed down.....lol but the more I go each week the hungrier I find I am so instead of fighting it I just eat but I stay the same so that's good :)
This post it about trying to decided where to run my half marathon?? Any suggestions? Throw them out I would love to hear them! Anyway happy blogging!

Oliver Henry

2010-07-31T15:49:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't track Kip and Kimberly's blog like I do I thought you all should know I am once again "Aunted" :) Oliver was born this past Monday he was a few weeks early but according to the Family he's doing well and he's off a ventilator. I'm so happy to have a third nephew! I can't wait to meet the little guy and well you all should be jealous because Kip and Kimberly as you well know make ADORABLE children!

Can't time stand still?

2010-07-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while! Life always has a way of continuing on without me blogging it's weird! Someone should really do something about that.

Well I have had tons of fun working and playing the past few months. I got to see almost the whole family in May, which is rare. I visited Washington in April which was AMA-ZA-ZING!

Summer got off to a late start here...lots of rain, which I'm ok with! It snowed in late May which was depressing for me but now we are up to 95 Degree days! I'm still serving and it's paying the bills.

I've been marathon training running at least 30 miles a week for the past month...well last week I got sick so I only did 10 miles total all week. I really want to run the full or half (depending on how I'm doing) marathon in Bellingham on September 25th :) So we'll see right now I can do 9 miles in about 80 minutes without stopping. So that's a highlight for me.

I live in a new apartment with two new roommates. They are great and I enjoy them but I'm not really around them cause I'm at work most of the time. Kristyn got married that was a huge relief now that all the wedding stuff is done :) I enjoy my new ward a lot! They are so friendly and sweet. It's the first ward in a while I actually look forward to going because of the company and not the spirit...BUT the spirit there is great too :)

Anywho I'm running off to work and I'm sorry there aren't pictures I will put some up soon. I will also blog in more detail when I get a second. So I hope you're all doing well! :)

My Bad....

2010-03-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while...and I'd like to say I've had a very good excuse except....I don't.

SORRY!!

So in the past few weeks I've had a few hobbies and a few big events.

Hobby....numero uno Gym...like always. I think I have a severe addiction....now I'm dieting with the gym to see if I can really keep up with the big boys!

Hobby Number Seven (so I skipped a few number I want to keep you on your toes...) Snowboarding...I've been a few dates with a few different guys snowboarding I went for the first time since...well he who shall not be named proposed...I have been having a blast doing it though. This last time I needed a few days with some IMPORTANT VIP's so I headed to Boise to see Bretton and Tyrrell and spent a day boarding and just relaxing it was very nice!!!!

Work isn't really a hobby BUT it's a necessity...so that has kept me busy and I've thoroughly enjoyed waiting on people hand and foot...not..jk sorta....

I also have enjoyed playing with my roommates!!!! Kristyn just got engaged and is getting married June 5th so that's super exciting and will be time consuming in this house. Shea and I have been playing a lot...not doing anything imparticular but we did roadtrip to Boise together...:)

Shea and I leaving boise....

Shea was waving bye to Boise

Church has taken some time too! I have enthralled myself in scriptures and talks lately especially if I'm having a hard day so that's been an amazing blessing! So all of you who are examples or people I confide in I appreciate the love and support in that area of my life. :)

So ANYWAY more pictures of life will come I'm in a no makeup phase right now....so not many pictures are taken....BUT you will get tons of RoadTrip pictures from me in a few weeks because I'm taking a much needed trip to Washington April 9th- whenever Daniel and I figure out I should come back :) So Never?? JK Love you all!!!!

Dear Mom & Dad,

2010-02-14T00:12:00.001-08:00

I LOVE YOU! It's Valentines Day and most people think it's only to celebrate with people you're in love with aka significant other. They are wrong. I got home tonight and was reminded how loved I really am. I worked all day then went to the gym really late, then ran to the store so I could get a few things before tomorrow so I didn't have to shop on Sunday. I've been really distracted this week kinda dreading it actually because I have to work right when church is and Church has been the highlight of my weeks lately.
I started putting eggs away and such and I notice on the counter a package and it's addressed to me! :) :) I was so excited to get a package!!!! I got all rambunctious and showed it off to my roommates before opening it! Inside were baking goods! Which EXCITED me even more!!!!!!!!! I danced around the house saying my parents love me, I don't need a Valentine I have AMAZING parents! So I just wanted to share with all of you how awesome my parents really are (even if they technically don't share the same DNA). Mom & Dad thank you for my package I know the love and care that comes with it and I can't say it replaced the spirit of Church but it gave me a piece of your spirits and I know how Christ like you two are and what an example you are to me so it means a lot! I LOVE YOU!!!
***Side Note: To those of you who did not get Valentines Gifts from your parents it does not mean they love you any less! I just have really good parents! :P

2010-02-06T02:27:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRFDAY!!

To my best friend and sister!

MISH!!!

I love you!!

Now I think I won't have such a hard time with being 23 since you're 23 with me! YAY!

I will see you in less than 12 hours WOO HOOO!!

2010-01-25T21:04:00.001-08:00

Past month in a nutshell.....

WHERE ..........did January go?

It's almost over!

Well this month was a VERY productive month for me which makes me feel a little complete. I opted to wait a month to go to Washington so I could catch up after Christmas and I've been working my little bottom (ok it's really not that little but it's getting there) at work and at the gym.

THE GYM!

I have been going no less than 4 days a week it has given me my own little high I guess....it just makes me happier and I've lost 4 lbs. YAY!

My Birthday....on the 9th of this month I turned 23

...I feel super old....

I know I'm actually not I just feel that way last year was no big deal but for some odd reason I thought that 23 would never come...it did and 24 is on the way. But that's ok :)

Blessings have been coming in swift proportions the past month which I'm so grateful for. It's been a sure roller coaster for the last two years but I feel like it's leveling. I went to church with my roommate this past Sunday and I don't know what it was but life just fell into place. I started writing a diary (not literally writing but it's a blog all to myself about my days so I remember how I'm feeling or something I thought was funny) after watching the Curious Case of Benjamin Button for the first time. Which has helped a TON to sort out how I've been feeling it's like therapy on it's own.

SO CHURCH....back on topic. Was the Sunday I needed!!! I have wanted to change and I know I've needed to I just haven't felt the yearn quite yet or the distinctive feeling I used to feel when I was 17 that I could do anything and be anything and just be happy! I usually despise relief society it just has never been my favorite thing but this lesson we had....

The teacher handed out articles ....

"Repent.....That I May Heal You" Elder Neil L. Anderson

I bit the back of my tongue to hold back tears of the grateful feeling I had toward Heavenly Father. Holy Cow that is exactly what I needed. I needed to know that no matter what I can be forgiven and the road isn't easy I just have to press forward and do what's right.

If you haven't read the article it's amazing and you should give it a go.

Such a new outlook..... I know I've said it before but I feel like I just had a meeting with Heavenly Father and he hugged me

With working out making me feel the way I have it's made me super happy....and the yearning to never miss a Sunday at church has also got this happy go lucky attitude in my head. I don't care that I'm a year older...I really just understand that with age comes growth of wisdom. I might not be caught up with everyone else my age and married with children or going to school but we all have our own paths and I'm so grateful for the road that has been lain before me.

So that's January so far this month I've rearranged my work schedule to beable to attend church this Sunday then the following Sunday I'll be in Rexburg for Michelle's Birthday. :)

***On a side note I've been saving for a digital camera so hopefully I'll start putting more pictures up :)

New Years New Views

2010-01-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

So to recap on a few months of life....
November I've turned my life around for the last and final time hopefully. I have found that some things in life no matter how numb they make you feel won't ever numb unhappiness. You choose to be happy. You choose to love yourself. I've had a pretty messed up personal view of myself over the years and have gotten lost now and again. December came and I was feeling great going to the gym, making great money at work, being all around happy. The stress of the holidays got closer but everything turned out because I kept my chin up. I can't say that I'm the closest to Heavenly Father I've ever felt but I'm getting there, I still have my tiffs with him but usually in the end there is always the reminder that he knows what I need. The stress of the holidays passed when I got to Las Vegas. I know right? Las Vegas for Christmas? Well one of my favorite family members lives there and my favorite family was there for Christmas. I met Rayme, Donna, Nicole, and Michelle in Vegas for Christmas. It was GREAT. I love being around family for holidays even if they aren't blood they are family to me.
WARNING MAY GET A LITTLE MUSHY...
I love seeing my Godsend Parents what an example they are to me. One of my favorite parts of the weekend is Michelle sharing with us how Mom and Dad have made their marriage successfully last over the years. Communication is the answer Michelle shared with us. :) There is a funny story that happened a few hours afterwards about Mom and Dad's communication skills that had us laughing. It works for them though! They still love each other and adore each other. They set a great example for their children (blood and adopted). When I left Vegas all I could think of was how I felt around them. I have my moments of being down but they go away when I am near them and I believe its the spirit they carry. I love Nicole and she is so spiritual and so determined and achieved. She is so pure in heart. I had to leave Sunday morning early because I had to work that evening...I hugged them each goodbye and with each hug I knew I would have to inch closer to the door and head back somewhere I don't want to be...I cried as I hugged Rayme, being my last hug. I got to my car and realized I didn't have my wallet and I got a call saying I left my new Ipod too...lol I just didn't want to leave yet. I ran back upstairs and grabbed them real quick. I know growing up is a part of life and it's hard to I just promised myself I would let my light shine through so I could feel the spirit the way I feel it with the Chapins. I cried a lot of the way home....but I knew it would be alright.
Back from Christmas....tonight was new years eve...and I hate new years. It really doesn't matter to me. I went out with friends after work to a house party. I was their driver because I no longer partake in the wilder side of life. I watched all these people at this house say here's a drink and I would say no thanks and they looked at me and were puzzled. They told me I wasn't fun because I wasn't laughing but the thing is, I didn't look like an idiot...A lot of them apologized to me and I said it was fine because it was. I've been in their shoes and one girl made the comment someday I'll be done with all of this and get married in the temple. Slap in the face. I felt for her...because I was once her not long ago. If you know what makes you happy and you know what you ultimately want why change? I honestly at one point didn't know what I wanted I still don't know exactly what I want or where I'm going. I do know what makes me happiest though and after I got home my AMAZING AWESOME roommate Shea had just gotten home also. We talk often and she had had a rough night. Questioning her self worth and her self image...if you all knew Shea you would understand she is gorgeous inside and out! A great spirit! She said something about her worth and I remembered the book that I carry in my car with me and where ever I go just in case I need it. I've mentioned it before but the You Are Special children's book. I read it to Shea because whenever I feel down I read it because I know it's a symbolism of Heavenly Fathers love for me. My roommates are awesome and I couldn't have asked for a better situation. Not only did reading that to Shea help Shea hear something she really needed but it helped me also. I'm grateful for this year and the learning experiences it's given me along the way. This new year I'm going to live by this quote and make it to the fullest:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, Who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. You playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

I need to let my own light shine. I want to look in the mirror and be happy knowing that I am making the most of my life. So first thing is first I'm putting off all vacations till debt is payed. I want to visit Washington so bad but I need to get a handle on debt and on this year start out strong so that when fall comes around and a new school year starts that is the only thing I'm worried about. I look forward to 2010 it holds so many great things in store!

2009-10-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

HOMESICK!!

All this new stuff going on has really made me miss Washington! I miss my friends and fun! I miss the rain it makes me so happy when it rains. I miss the family around me...not just blood but my ward family. Ferndale Second Ward! I miss NORMAL people aka non utahns!

I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO COME BACK! I hate how ugly it is here! I hate people here. I have three good friends here and that's about it. I just want to go home.

It's sorta like when kids are sick and they say "I want my mom" it's like that Washington is my mom. I have friends, loved ones, and happiness there. I'm coming home! Not yet but soon!

So lets all pray that I can come home by next august and everything goes as planned cause I'm outta here!!!

The End

Oh growing into a woman SUCKS!

2009-10-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

So I've been on this kick to try to manage my time better. I've wanted to lose weight so I've been going to the gym...trying to eat better. I have school, work, and the gym. A little play time here and there. So in the last month this has been my life...
MOVE!
I have new roommates :) I live in a townhome with a girl I work with who I spend most of my playtime with! Super kids together....Kristyn:) is her name and when we're together gigglings the game. Another roomie is Annie she lives upstairs super smart fun girl! And Shea lives downstais with me :). She's sooo fun and we get along great! I love my roommates they are soooo fun!
SCHOOL!
So I'm only taking two classes....but they are two classes in a subject I hate the most! Dreaded English...you think i'm being dramatic but I DESPISE ENGLISH! Oh well just a few more months and well it's only two classes that are now out of the way right?
GYM & EATING
Thanks to seeing myself in a rear mirror I've realized I have the worst saddlebags in the world...they are attatched it's not the jeans! I started a cleanse last week went to the gym everyday ate healthy...and man I am awkward. Just a few more weeks and I'll get back. On a plus side I have found a new favorite food! I love love love Yogurt Delights...Caramel, Chocolate Raspberry, and Lemon mixed with Granola! THEY ARE AMAZING. I have the worst sweet tooth and it curbs it. Try it!
FREE TIME
I don't have much free time I don't talk to anyone because it seems like I am always running around. I'm constantly tired but my mind doesn't stop running. EEk! But I am having a lot of fun I feel sorta successful with life right now.
FUTURE PLANS
Well due to tears in the family right now...I am spending halloween, thanksgiving, and christmas ALONE! I've spent the first two alone before but this will be my first christmas on my own. But have no fear friends...I'm going to buy myself gifts here and there and wrapping them putting them under a tree and I will have myself a great christmas. Plus I'll spend the whole day at the movie theater woo hoo!!! So this is a small catch up on fall so far for me. Thank you all for reading love you miss you! Sorry lately I've been invisible.

2009-08-28T01:19:00.000-07:00

TO WILLEM ON HIS SPECIAL DAY!

I would like to do a post on my oldest and very first nephew Willem! He's 3 years old today!! YAY! Happy Birthday Willem this one is special because 3 was my number in sports and it's the best number in the world! So this is a very special birthday indeed! I hope you know that you have soooo many Aunties and Uncles that love and adore you because you, my dear, are the first child on both your mommy's and daddy's sides and you are just so darn CUTE! Everyone should remember this day cause this kid is a DOLL!

I would like to thank Kimberly personally for giving me such a great nephew. He's cute and so smart! I can't wait to be close to you guys again (not sure when that will be). Thank you for raising him Kimberly and being such a great mom! We're so grateful for you and the fact you're giving us such great nephews and hopefully someday soon we'll get a neice??? :) Kip thanks for chipping in too, I'm sure Willem gets some good traits from you....can't think of any off the top of my head...JUST KIDDING!

So Willem HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!! If you beg Daddy to watch PageMaster as you get older you'll understand that on the Nichols side why we say that in a goofy voice for fun! Willem you're only three and there are about A BILLION things I love about you but I'll list one for every year deal?

1. YOU'RE BIG EYES!!! They are so pretty!

2. How SMART you are, you have done everything so fast and I'm not around you much I know but I watch the videos and read all the blogs mom and dad do for you!

3. Your singing, whether it's Bob the Builder or anything else it's seems that in 90% of videos mommy and daddy have of you, you are singing your heart out bud!

The list will grow more and more as the years go by buddy! I love you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HE KNOWS WHAT'S BEST

2009-08-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

So as most of you know I have been stressing about court this past month. Trying to do everything I can so I can be done with a past life and move on. I thought this was cruelty and I was being punished once again. I turned to family and friends for advice and comfort. I prayed constantly for this problem to just be solved because I am and was so tired of dealing with it. Well once again Heavenly Father has shown me I don't know what's best for me. He has my best interest at heart and mind always. He is all knowing!

This past week was a humbling experience. Full of tears, prayers, anxiety, hives, starvation, and probably a hundred other things. Starting with Monday I stopped sleeping...I slept but not well...and I didn't want to get out of bed. I started having nightmares, and having anxiety attacks. I would wake up in cold sweats. The nerves were starting to get to me for Thursday. Wednesday I had almost everything done! I still didn't sleep an ounce. I stayed up reading scriptures, praying, and begging to just have it be done quickly. I didn't want to fight. I'm so sick of anger and contention around me. I read a book Nicole gave me a million birthdays ago that is by far my favorite childrens book. "You Are Special" by Max Lucado. You can laugh but that book reminds me that I shouldn't care about all these terrible things that are going on with me or people say about me it only matters what Heavenly Father thinks. I know he loves me. I then in the middle of the night moved on to "Stand A Little Taller" I needed advice and just a calm.

August 20th

ESTEEM FOR OTHERS

Therefore, Strengthen your brethren in all conversation, in all your prayers, in all exhortations, and in all your doings.

-Doctrine & Covenants 108:7

Do not indulge in put-downs, in pessimism, in self recrimination. Never make fun at the expense of another. Look for virtue in the lives of all with whom you associate.

I have a temper on me, I always have. It's hard for me to not get angry if someone pushes my buttons or puts me down. I wasn't angry all the sudden I was going to court. I just knew it would work out. I needed to trust everything was ok and stop wishing for something bad to come around to those who were taking me to court. I felt calm on the inside. I left early my shirt nicely pressed, hair nicely curled, makeup light but perfect. I wanted to be as nice on the outside as I felt on the inside. I harbored no hard feelings.

I walked into the court building two minutes after 8:00 a.m. I sat there twisting my ring on my finger which has the footprints poem engraved all the way around it. I started to shake. I saw lawyers pass and wondered maybe I should have gotten a lawyer to bring with me....then I thought maybe he won't show and I'll just end up being totally tossed around by his lawyer. Prayer started to run through my head..."Please Heavenly Father, calm me down, let me breath.." I got up and quickly made my way to the restroom...I hadn't eaten in over 12 hours and threw up the liquid contents in my stomach. I went back over the the bench and sat there trying to calm my heart and keep my hand steady.

At that moment I looked up and saw him come around the corner alone. "Thank You, Heavenly Father." Was the first thought in my head. Thanks for not making me see an angry face that I had seen towards the end of our marriage. He looked calm and serene. So I in follow started calming down. He took a seat next to me. I don't remember who talked first..I think it was me...my heart was still pounding in my head. My eyes were on fire. There was a lot of emotion for me...but none of it was the emotion I expected...I didn't feel anger, contention, jealousy, malice...anything like that. I felt grateful. I walked out of the courtroom with almost everything worked out. There is one thing left and very soon I will take care of it as soon as I am able.

Hugs were exchanged between his dad and I. I've always adored his dad...even though sometimes I can be a brat and push people away. We talked about life and family. It was almost like we were the two people that met almost three years ago and there was purely friendship there. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father and things that I see as trials that turn into blessings.

I walked out to my car...felt free. Released! I looked down at my front tire on the drivers side and it was flat. My first thought was "Crap, I probably hit a nail or something on the freeway and all the air let out while I was in the courtroom." Next thought "Should I go back in and ask them for help?" The final thought " Ha! I'm a big girl I can change this tire and put my spare on I just don't want them walking out and seeing me. I can do this I'm a big girl." So I got out my donut and my tool kit. Started changing my tire. Took my two seperate times to jack up the car....about a billion times falling on my butt....and four hard pulls to get the tire, that felt like it was welded to the axle, off. I laughed almost the entire time thinking "Heavenly Father, your sense of humor is SO funny you give me a good day not one I expected then I get a flat tire!" Ha Ha? :) I saw him and his dad walk out of the courthouse...I ducked...I wanted to do this on my own. I finally got everything back in my car and headed to the South Jordan Les Schwab. I talked to my sister while I waited...about five minutes after they had checked out the tire..the nice gentleman, who treated me like gold after seeing my black smudged face(don't wipe your face even if it's sweaty after changing a tire) and seeing my nice sky blue shirt with grease smudges all over it, came to tell me my tire could not by salvaged.

Me: "Did I hit a nail or something?"

Gentleman: "It actually was slashed....there is a knife slice right on the sidewall"

Me: "hahahahahah are you kidding? Wow Irony!"

Gentleman: "What?"

Me: "Nothing just my car was at the courthouse all morning....oh well. How much to fix it?"

I laughed about it to DeNae. I didn't know who did it. The guy asked if I wanted to call the police or the courthouse. I just haha really didn't care. I wanted to follow what I had read in "Stand A Little Taller." I wanted to be happy all day because I had nothing to be angry about. I got almost everything done. None of the things I stressed over no longer mattered. I felt free...I felt lifted...loved...and best of all happy inside and out. I didn't cry at all later I slept...well and deep! Curve balls aren't always what you expect! You just have to swing and hope you hit a home run! Just thought I would let those of you who knew about my big day in on what happened. I had angels with me thanks for all your prayers and love!

SISTERHOOD

2009-07-31T22:34:00.000-07:00

I HAVE WONDERFUL SISTERS!!!

These past few weeks have been super hard and super stressful and I haven't been able to keep my cool at times. There are some days where I feel like my chest is collapsing and I can't breath. Well do you know who's been here through all of that? My sisters! I have three biological sisters, a sister in law, and two non blood sisters that are all JAW DROPPINGLY SPECTACULAR! I am the luckiest sister in the world so I feel sorry for all of you who aren't as blessed....jk...not really though they are amazing!

I love being able to call my sisters through everything! When I changed my name I called DeNae and Kassy just to tell them I was a Nichols again or to talk about family get togethers or to get important advice. Those two are my big sisters they're always there!

When I need to cry and I'm angry at the world I send long emails to Chelcie or call Michelle and they listen or comfort me, they might be younger but they are two people I admire a ton in this world

When I hear from Kip, Kimberly always sends her love or she's probably the one reminding him to call his family....:)

When I need uplifting spiritual words I go to the many GREAT books Nicole has got for me.

They are all apart of my life! I have a desire to get a tattoo I know I shouldn't and I WON'T but I love the Celtic Symbol for sisterhood! My sisters are everything to me so I thought I would do a blog in their honor because they are G-R-E-A-T!

So meet my sisters!

Warning! Some pictures may be pirated or old it's what I could get my hands on ok!

DeNae... is the oldest and such an example to me! She's beautiful inside and out, loving, ambitious, fun, level headed, strong headed, and just all around AMAZING! Her and I have grown close over the few years and I'm grateful for our relationship! There is no judgement between us. She would bend over backwards for anyone close to her! So giving! I really do call her when I need to fume and she talks to me like an adult she doesn't B.S. and it helps because we are so much alike! She's so successful and smart! Really when and if she decides a guy is worth time he will be the LUCKIEST man in the world because she deserves the BEST!

She's beautiful even with funny faces

Kassandra or Kassy....Has been a great friend! Not only is she my sister but she's the one I talk to the most. If we don't talk for a while she'll call me or I'll call her. We talk about movies, life, boys, family, work, school, and everything & in between! She knows me really well. I could tell her anything and know it's between her and me and she would never betray me or judge me. She's supportive and so loving! Plus we shared a room Growing up so...we had to get along :) Love ya!

Kassy is a trooper this is shortly after a surgery and she looks awesome!

Chelcie (but I call her SHISHI).......There is so much to say about Chelcie! We've fought, we've loved, we've cried, and we're always on the same page. There are days where I feel like she's my other half! I admire her sooooo much! She's super strong, always keeps her cool, walks away from confrontation(unlike me..), funny, athletic, and the list continues! She's the Ying to my Yang! We sync. I'm probably in the least contact right now with her than I have had my entire life and I miss her! But we email and it's funny because we really do laugh together and cry together! I love ya sis!
Always making all of us laugh

Kimberly....She has been so kind as to put up with Kip he can be overwhelming! I'm very grateful for her giving birth to my two adorable Nephews! She's always been soft spoken around the family but such a good sport because well all of us can be a little overwhelming...and Kip is just a piece of it! I know I love her and so does the rest of the family so Kimberly thanks for always being great and joining our family! (Someone has to love Kip) JK..Sorta

Michelle...The adopted sister! She's literally my best friend in real life! I love her! She's been an example to me through the hardest times in life and we fight and argue but we always just shake it off! As if we're real sisters...blood! We pig out together...laugh a ton....be dumb.....drive.....cry......be spiritual.......and best of all just live! We click and have since middle school??? It's been a long time. She's always sending me words of support! And I believe she has such a HUGE purpose in my life! More than anyone could imagine! I adore you!

Nicole.....Her birthday is on Sunday and I'm so excited because I'm gonna try to text her at exactly midnight. She's so good at remembering everything! So creative and fun. She really has gotten me some of the most uplifting books in my life. I love Nicole so much! I should tell her more often! When I first moved in with the Chapins I looked up to her a lot! I still do! Her style is always cute, she's clean and organized, she is spiritual, but best of all she is such a KID! Which makes me laugh. One of my favorite memories though Michelle hates it is when she would call Michelle "Face" because it would just push buttons and Nicole would do it in a little kid voice! Cracked me up! I hope you know HOW MUCH you mean to me Nicole!

WORD VOMIT

2009-07-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next.Amen."
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Tonight at work all I could do to get through the stress and fight off the tears was to repeat this in my head....life is not what I expected. Can I rewind? Erase? Does it matter I'm the girl I was on 12/01/06? Would suicide fix it?? No just cause more pain for the ones I love...my siblings, friends, and loved ones. Will this new start be a clean slate? Can I convince the court to not make me see him if I have everything done ahead of time? I can't eat...when I do I want to throw up...Anxiety has hit. Bills, work, gym, no life...no fun...no vacation. NO SCHOOL.....maybe next year? No maybe, next year! In Washington! No more Utah. No more him. Restraining order comes to mind after August. After this is over it's OVER! No more. No talking to Bishops about temple divorces....nothing. I'm not doing this anymore. When I'm ready then it will happen. The term marriage....dating....love....kids don't apply to me nor sway me. No interest. Just interest in being alone, being educated, having dogs, a cobblestone house, being near family, and travel. I don't care...I STOPPED CARING! Can't you let go? I'm doing my best but it's not good enough. I will finish this. It will be done...then you can kick yourself. I will give myself a pat on the shoulder. Life is moving forward yet i'm standing still. September will be a new start. Saving....working......fun. One year from August and I move home to my roots. No more of this life or this crap. The end. If this offends you don't comment....please.

ADVENTURES GALORE!

2009-07-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

ADVENTURES IN COLORADO

So for those of you who have been following my blog you know that I was supposed to go to Moab the end of June with friends. Well one of the couples that were suppose to go couldn't. Mickelle and Shawn were the other couple going and they had taken time off for the trip and before to go to Colorado to see Mickelle's family. So when plans started falling through I just said I'll stay and work. Mickelle being the AMAZING friend she is was like yeah right! She called me the night we figured out we weren't going to Moab for sure "Chyla, there is a 7:40 a.m. flight to Denver on Saturday the 27th book it." Now I wanted to go to Moab because I had never been....well guess what? I had never been to Colorado either!! Yay for me!

So on our way up through Estes park we saw a bear and her two cubs. Shawn got a video of it...it's only half the video with these four pieces.

So the first day we went hiking through Estes Park! We saw so many awesome things! I was so excited to be there!This was partially up the hike I saw the cliff and wanted to go look out over it! It was breath taking and I'm just so small compared to all that around me.

Then Mickelle and I with a shot together :)
This was our first mile stone on the way up a B-E-A Utiful! (Got that from shawn) Waterfall

Mickelle's Parents are SO active. They have been all over! I see where Mickelle gets it. I hope to be like that with my future spouse someday!

So Mickelle thinks she's sneaky! Well she is! Shawn claims he wasn't sleeping he was just "pretending" (Mickelle and I both know it's like him talking in his sleep and claiming he knows what's going on) So my explanation....I woke up Friday at 10 a.m. called work to see if they were busy enough to need me for the morning. They didn't! Yay I had so much to do! I did laundry, packed, got last minute things, and then went to work for my closing shift. I got off around midnight...and was dead! I didn't want to sleep in and miss my flight at 7:40 a.m. so my friend went to eat with me at IHOP the dropped me at the airport for the night. I read and waited to check in...I checked in at 6 a.m. and waited more! Well I landed in Denver (coolest airport ever!) Mickelle and her mom were their to pick me up :) We got back to their house got ready for a hike....We hiked 10.5 miles ......I still had not slept. We ate at this awesome BBQ place up in Estes Park and this is the result on the way home. I was BEAT!

SUNDAY...A DAY OF REST!

So my second day there was Sunday I woke up went to church...a singles ward...lucky for me Mickelle's parents have a calling in the local singles ward so that's where we attended. We got home sorta relaxed out on the back porch in the sun. I ate the most awesome Dutch oven meals (aside from rayme's ribs) with chicken, potatoes, carrots (my favorite), and celery! Mickelle's dad is and awesome cook! So after dinner we headed over to the bishop's house to play some Pickleball...I had never played and it took me a few times to get the hang of it but I like it! It was fun times. Then to end the day we walked around the lake by their house and I saw MILLIONS of prairie dogs...EEEK!

A ZOO NEVER BEFORE SEEN BY CHYLA'S EYES!

On Monday we went to the zoo! The Denver Zoo! Check and Check one more thing I've done that I hadn't before! It was just Mickelle, Shawn, and Myself for the day. We were all pretty excited to go. We saw monkeys, Hyenas, tigers, bears (the polar bears were my favorite), snakes, fish, and many more! Oh and Seals! They were fun too.

This snow leopard if you look close is laying on it's back with it's legs spread sleeping it was so funny!

So this arangatang was soooo funny! He just sat there and looked at his hand would look at me and stick his tongue out and then go back to looking at his hand.

Huge Snapping turtle! WOW look at it!

LAST DAY IN COLORADO!! :(

So on our last day in Colorado we went to the Rodeo!!! YEE HAW! We got corn dogs, cotton candy, funnel cakes, fresh squeezed lemonade, and fresh brewed root beer! YUM! I love fairs food, atmosphere, rides, and Cowboys!

They are so cute together!
The Rodeo has begun!!!

They are eating their funnel cake! Mickelle was so excited

I was so excited to have root beer and cotton candy.

I am really not as tired as I look :)

WEDNESDAY WE CAME BACK TO UTAH! BUT IT'S NOT OVER!

So here are a few shots of canyons driving back through Southern Utah. We stopped in Ferron where Shawn grew up and we went fishing with his parents! My first time fishing! It was so fun there were so many different types of trout I caught four total....I think we just caught them and let them go. It was fun I decided when i retire I'm gonna live on a boat and fish all day everyday! :)

My trip was so fun! I loved it! Mickelle and Shawn crack me up and they are definitely how I want to be when I get married again. They are best friends and just click! Mickelle's parents were so cute and I'm grateful that I was able to stay there and they were so hospitable. :)

Faith/Testimony

2009-06-11T03:47:00.001-07:00

I have never been great at always believing in anything. As most of you know I'm pretty optimistic but there have always been times when I walk away from things I need and want most, because I'm pessimistic that they will just not work out.
I would like to share a little about faith and love with all of you. You are all people I know and I wanted to share my testimony of Prayer, Christ, Church, Family, and the Scriptures. When I first started my blog I was turning my life around, setting goals, and living because I thought it would help me. I didn't have faith it would help I just wanted it to. I see now over these past months that faith is the key.
I find myself always praying in the back of my head that life goes right and that things will work out. I'm not saying it's bad to pray for these things but I should just have a pure faith that they will and be more thankful for the blessings I have received right then. I knelt on my knees for the first time in a long time (not that I don't pray often just that I don't do it the correct way). I felt instantly a relief not from life or stress but relief of the heart. A shock wave that shot through my spine and brought me to tears. Thoughts of love and wishes for others came pouring out. Thankful for the life I have been blessed with realizing that if you have faith he is right beside you.
Now my first blog was about counting your blessings. Yes I have had fun the past months and I have been living better cutting things out of my life that are unnecessary and daily I see the blessings for living right. Do I live life to the fullest extent of what I believe is right?
Am I reading the scriptures as much as I should or want to? No, I go to them when I need or want answers or need to feel the spirit. This should be a daily search for me I should start and end the day with them. I remember that Peter Self gave a talk in church once about just reading even a verse a day is better than nothing. So I'm wanting that to be a new adventure for me...to feel the love all day everyday that I feel when I need answers...what an amazing opportunity I would be blessed with.
Just a few days ago I was getting ready for work and pictures of Christ that are up in Sarah and Josh's bathroom caught my eye. I've seen them a thousand times just never really looked. His eyes were piercing I stopped for a second and then continued getting ready and headed to work. At work I'm playful and I love having fun. I teased a friend of mine and she was being silly and I turned around and did the one hand motion of "I love you" in sign language. Flipped back around and started out the door I thought of the picture of Christ's hand with the same sign only he had a hole pierced through. Do I think about the blood he spilled for me? So that I can make mistakes (because man I do!) and can be forgiven? I found it ironic that the picture had caught my eye and then something so small as a sign of love would bring on a deep thought such as this. I need to strive to think about that everyday.
Going to singles ward is sooooSO SO SO SO hard! I hate it. I hate the prowl and the hunt and the chase. It's just so tiring to me. I hate getting up and getting ready. More than anything I HATE putting on a dress!!!! Once I get there though I feel good listening to talks and learning new things. Feeling the spirit during the three hour stretch! Church isn't about the things I listed earlier it's about the feelings I feel in the three hour period and making them last longer than that.
Last but not, by any means, least. Children are such a blessing in peoples lives. Siblings are blessings. Mothers and Fathers (even if they aren't your own) are blessings. When I think about my future I think about taking my toddlers to nursery and sitting in sacrament while my baby is making faces at his/her siblings, aunts, uncles, or grandparents. Eternal Families are so important to me. I never realized it. Really having a family of my own someday would be such a blessing and I can't wait(that's a figure of speech...I'll be excited when the day comes). :) Being apart of the families I'm apart of are everyday blessings even when the worst of events have brought you all together. You still have each other forever and always!
My love for this life despite it's difficulties have grown the past few weeks. Tonight/Morning I wanted to write down my thoughts on all of them so I could know that my FAITH is needed in this life to make the eternal life worth it! Love you all!

"Oh, The Places You'll Go!!

2009-05-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well I thought I would do a list of all the things I have yet to experience that I need to. :) My goal is to have most of these done by the end of summer. They are nothing big most of them are travel but maybe if I do a list then I'll have more of an urge to get it done.

These are in no specific order:

(x) Hike the Y (I just experienced that for the first time this past Friday with Mickelle. We both have Friday mornings off so it's going to be our Friday afternoon date days. HA

( ) Visit Kip, Kimberly, Willem, and Carter in Tennessee (which Kipton if you're reading this instead of July I'm thinking August)

( ) Visit Kassy in New Jersey and see NYC and Washington D.C.

( ) Go to The Fray Concert!

( ) See California for the first time and see Michelle and hopefully a few other friends I have in Cali :)

( ) Go to Moab and see southern Utah canyons (this is a for sure cause the trip is planned!)

( ) Lose 15 lbs. (I know most of you are rolling your eyes but it's really not about the weight it's more about me feeling good. I went to extremes last year and got super stick thin after the divorce in an unhealthy way and my goal is to be back to that weight in a healthy way :) )

( ) See Owl's games. Mickelle says they are a must but I've never been so why not?

( ) This is a long shot but I would like to go to Mexico....hmm

( ) Go home to Washington and see friends and family (especially Laura, Donna & Rayme, and the David &Bonnie)

So that's the excitement I'm looking forward to this summer while still being an adult hopefully. I am trying to not let work eat my life. So if any of you have requests that are plausible let me know. Or if any of you are close to any of these places let me know and I will do my best to make time to visit. Love you all!

Clean Break

2009-05-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

So in the past month tons of things have changed! Well I didn't stay living in my old apartment as i had thought. Our ditz of a brain landlord signed the lease to someone else even though Michelle and I had both emailed her telling her I would like to sign a new lease for Michelle's old room. Anyway so I had a week and a half to find a place to live. A young couple I work with got a basement apartment that was too big for them and offered for me to rent a room from them it seemed like an answer to a prayer even though i didn't stop to think about it really. A few days before I needed to be out plans fell through...I was so anxious! Then as Heavenly Father has always done for me he sends me family ties where ever I am. Josh and Sarah a married couple that i'm such good friends with (Josh reminds me a lot of Kip and has been a great Priesthood holder example to me) told me that they could see my stress and that they would love if I moved in with them for a few months to get on my feet. They have a basement apartment and it's Josh's grandparents so they have a good deal. They have been so kind and loving and I can't imagine what I would do if they weren't here.

Josh and Sarah!

Sarah and Me at a Bonfire!

Sarah and I are close and good friends she's so great. I would like to talk a little about a new bestfriend I have. Though the I love having friends and "bestfriend" is a term that I have given a few people in my life. Mickelle White Taylor is my best friend and kindred. We relate on every level. She's a great example to me, always there to listen, giving, loving, intuitive....and the list goes on! Her husband and herself have also been very kind to me. I'm so grateful for the new experiences I have had down in Provo. I have so many fun things planned this summer....and it's funny cause two months ago I would feel terrible being the only single person with my two sets of friends who are both married couples. I never feel awkward though and it's always a fun time! I will keep you all updated on things a little better. I have some fun things planned this summer so yippee!

Mickelle and I Ice Skating

Shawn and Mickelle

(They are the cutest couple)

P.S. I have started working out again.....Sarah and I are playing racquetball and thanks to Mickelle and Shawn I have a new sport to obsess over. Mickelle is also my workout buddy I figure I get double workouts so we'll see how I am looking the end of June when I take a trip to Moab with the two couples! :)

Easter

2009-04-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

Ok so when you live in a college town and you aren't around blood relatives for the Holidays you take the closest thing you have and luckily I have the greatest sister in the world to spend time with here in Provo....for now at least. So Michelle celebrated her last weekend in Provo by enjoying Easter with me. YAY

We decided to be festive and dress in spring colors....we're so cute!

I was ready to go so what were we waiting for?????

We went everywhere looking for Cadbury creme eggs because I LOVE them for Easter and we couldn't find them anywhere! We found Orange flavored ones...not what I wanted! Michelle found her favorites...stupid head! J.K.

Michelle suggested we go to the regular candy aisle and maybe they would have something close to it....first of all there is nothing as great....second of all there was nothing!

Then like a shiny star on the darkest of nights it was there on a shelf...they weren't regular sized but I would settle for the package of mini ones I found just because they were the LAST package. I was so excited I could not contain my excitement!

So when we got home we had to enjoy our findings while we waited for the eggs to boil. P.S. I taught Michelle how to boil eggs...she was amazed at how hard it is! HA

IN THE MEAN TIME.....
Our dishwasher was running and started leaking....so we sopped that up with our towels
We took pictures because we were bored...yeah if you know us it's normal....

TIME TO DYE!!!

So we started making a mess as you can see...it was dying our counter too...

Michelle started pulling paper towels out..I scolded her for how much she grabbed then I realized this is long enough for jump rope with....So I tried....and FAILED
Michelle with her bling bling ways got metallic decor for the eggs...well i couldn't seem to do it right and kept gluing my hand to the metallic paper rather than gluing it to the egg...I never claimed to be brilliant.
Our friend Mike came over and helped dye eggs so these are the finished product...so creative.

So that is how I celebrated Easter 2009. Michelle better be happy I updated this blog!

Count Your Many Blessings

2009-04-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

Well I thought I should start a blog. So the past year I've been divorced...and gone through a super rocky road. Heavenly Father i can gladly say was right there by my side. Sometimes the hardest things in life are the biggest blessings.

I've experienced so many new things this past year. I've moved to Provo a college town, started a new job, and found new friends. I've lived with roommates one of which I grew up with and another girl Rochelle who is my kindred spirit! My life has had so many blessings since the move to the new job. I bonfire, hike, run, and play on a regular basis with the funnest friends. I have found a new love for Utah. I don't know that Utah is the place I want to be forever but it's good for now. I have found my testimony again and how I thirst to feel Heavenly Father in my life. Thank you to all those who are an amazing example to me in my past and present. I have started to grow so much in these short months and am finding I like the young woman I'm becoming. So cheers to growing up.....well lets be honest I'm still a kid at heart.

(Bonfire with Friends)

I miss washington terribly and am planning to visit on regular occasions. Everyone in my life is growing up.

(Obviously Michelle and I are still Kids)

Michelle is moving to LA which gives me one more thing to do this summer that I haven't (go to California). :) I now have two adorable nephews, one of which I have not met yet, so that's on the checklist too. So school.....I have just been thinking why go back I change my mind everyday on what I want to do. But I've narrowed it down to one...I love adrenaline and I love medicine.....so Paramedics here I come. Maybe that's why I love firemen so much....it comes so close to the same thing. So I will finish next year at SLCC and transfer to UVU to finish up. YAY back to school it's like being a kid again. :) Well I just figured I would give a down low on my life the past few months. Enjoy the pictures of my life!

For those of you who know the family you know all these are my siblings. This was Christmas for those of us who got together...I didn't post DeNae cause I know I would be chastized for the posting the photos I have. lol. I love my family sooooooooo much and they are amazing and all of us bring something to the table. I know I won't have ten kids but I'm grateful for the 9 siblings I do have and for the Chapin and Walker families who also allowed me to become a part of their amazing lives. :)