Friday, August 28, 2009


TO WILLEM ON HIS SPECIAL DAY!

I would like to do a post on my oldest and very first nephew Willem! He's 3 years old today!! YAY! Happy Birthday Willem this one is special because 3 was my number in sports and it's the best number in the world! So this is a very special birthday indeed! I hope you know that you have soooo many Aunties and Uncles that love and adore you because you, my dear, are the first child on both your mommy's and daddy's sides and you are just so darn CUTE! Everyone should remember this day cause this kid is a DOLL!


I would like to thank Kimberly personally for giving me such a great nephew. He's cute and so smart! I can't wait to be close to you guys again (not sure when that will be). Thank you for raising him Kimberly and being such a great mom! We're so grateful for you and the fact you're giving us such great nephews and hopefully someday soon we'll get a neice??? :) Kip thanks for chipping in too, I'm sure Willem gets some good traits from you....can't think of any off the top of my head...JUST KIDDING!


So Willem HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!! If you beg Daddy to watch PageMaster as you get older you'll understand that on the Nichols side why we say that in a goofy voice for fun! Willem you're only three and there are about A BILLION things I love about you but I'll list one for every year deal?

1. YOU'RE BIG EYES!!! They are so pretty!


2. How SMART you are, you have done everything so fast and I'm not around you much I know but I watch the videos and read all the blogs mom and dad do for you!


3. Your singing, whether it's Bob the Builder or anything else it's seems that in 90% of videos mommy and daddy have of you, you are singing your heart out bud!


The list will grow more and more as the years go by buddy! I love you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

HE KNOWS WHAT'S BEST

So as most of you know I have been stressing about court this past month. Trying to do everything I can so I can be done with a past life and move on. I thought this was cruelty and I was being punished once again. I turned to family and friends for advice and comfort. I prayed constantly for this problem to just be solved because I am and was so tired of dealing with it. Well once again Heavenly Father has shown me I don't know what's best for me. He has my best interest at heart and mind always. He is all knowing!
This past week was a humbling experience. Full of tears, prayers, anxiety, hives, starvation, and probably a hundred other things. Starting with Monday I stopped sleeping...I slept but not well...and I didn't want to get out of bed. I started having nightmares, and having anxiety attacks. I would wake up in cold sweats. The nerves were starting to get to me for Thursday. Wednesday I had almost everything done! I still didn't sleep an ounce. I stayed up reading scriptures, praying, and begging to just have it be done quickly. I didn't want to fight. I'm so sick of anger and contention around me. I read a book Nicole gave me a million birthdays ago that is by far my favorite childrens book. "You Are Special" by Max Lucado. You can laugh but that book reminds me that I shouldn't care about all these terrible things that are going on with me or people say about me it only matters what Heavenly Father thinks. I know he loves me. I then in the middle of the night moved on to "Stand A Little Taller" I needed advice and just a calm.
August 20th
ESTEEM FOR OTHERS
Therefore, Strengthen your brethren in all conversation, in all your prayers, in all exhortations, and in all your doings.
-Doctrine & Covenants 108:7
Do not indulge in put-downs, in pessimism, in self recrimination. Never make fun at the expense of another. Look for virtue in the lives of all with whom you associate.
I have a temper on me, I always have. It's hard for me to not get angry if someone pushes my buttons or puts me down. I wasn't angry all the sudden I was going to court. I just knew it would work out. I needed to trust everything was ok and stop wishing for something bad to come around to those who were taking me to court. I felt calm on the inside. I left early my shirt nicely pressed, hair nicely curled, makeup light but perfect. I wanted to be as nice on the outside as I felt on the inside. I harbored no hard feelings.
I walked into the court building two minutes after 8:00 a.m. I sat there twisting my ring on my finger which has the footprints poem engraved all the way around it. I started to shake. I saw lawyers pass and wondered maybe I should have gotten a lawyer to bring with me....then I thought maybe he won't show and I'll just end up being totally tossed around by his lawyer. Prayer started to run through my head..."Please Heavenly Father, calm me down, let me breath.." I got up and quickly made my way to the restroom...I hadn't eaten in over 12 hours and threw up the liquid contents in my stomach. I went back over the the bench and sat there trying to calm my heart and keep my hand steady.
At that moment I looked up and saw him come around the corner alone. "Thank You, Heavenly Father." Was the first thought in my head. Thanks for not making me see an angry face that I had seen towards the end of our marriage. He looked calm and serene. So I in follow started calming down. He took a seat next to me. I don't remember who talked first..I think it was me...my heart was still pounding in my head. My eyes were on fire. There was a lot of emotion for me...but none of it was the emotion I expected...I didn't feel anger, contention, jealousy, malice...anything like that. I felt grateful. I walked out of the courtroom with almost everything worked out. There is one thing left and very soon I will take care of it as soon as I am able.
Hugs were exchanged between his dad and I. I've always adored his dad...even though sometimes I can be a brat and push people away. We talked about life and family. It was almost like we were the two people that met almost three years ago and there was purely friendship there. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father and things that I see as trials that turn into blessings.
I walked out to my car...felt free. Released! I looked down at my front tire on the drivers side and it was flat. My first thought was "Crap, I probably hit a nail or something on the freeway and all the air let out while I was in the courtroom." Next thought "Should I go back in and ask them for help?" The final thought " Ha! I'm a big girl I can change this tire and put my spare on I just don't want them walking out and seeing me. I can do this I'm a big girl." So I got out my donut and my tool kit. Started changing my tire. Took my two seperate times to jack up the car....about a billion times falling on my butt....and four hard pulls to get the tire, that felt like it was welded to the axle, off. I laughed almost the entire time thinking "Heavenly Father, your sense of humor is SO funny you give me a good day not one I expected then I get a flat tire!" Ha Ha? :) I saw him and his dad walk out of the courthouse...I ducked...I wanted to do this on my own. I finally got everything back in my car and headed to the South Jordan Les Schwab. I talked to my sister while I waited...about five minutes after they had checked out the tire..the nice gentleman, who treated me like gold after seeing my black smudged face(don't wipe your face even if it's sweaty after changing a tire) and seeing my nice sky blue shirt with grease smudges all over it, came to tell me my tire could not by salvaged.
Me: "Did I hit a nail or something?"
Gentleman: "It actually was slashed....there is a knife slice right on the sidewall"
Me: "hahahahahah are you kidding? Wow Irony!"
Gentleman: "What?"
Me: "Nothing just my car was at the courthouse all morning....oh well. How much to fix it?"
I laughed about it to DeNae. I didn't know who did it. The guy asked if I wanted to call the police or the courthouse. I just haha really didn't care. I wanted to follow what I had read in "Stand A Little Taller." I wanted to be happy all day because I had nothing to be angry about. I got almost everything done. None of the things I stressed over no longer mattered. I felt free...I felt lifted...loved...and best of all happy inside and out. I didn't cry at all later I slept...well and deep! Curve balls aren't always what you expect! You just have to swing and hope you hit a home run! Just thought I would let those of you who knew about my big day in on what happened. I had angels with me thanks for all your prayers and love!