Friday, July 31, 2009



These past few weeks have been super hard and super stressful and I haven't been able to keep my cool at times. There are some days where I feel like my chest is collapsing and I can't breath. Well do you know who's been here through all of that? My sisters! I have three biological sisters, a sister in law, and two non blood sisters that are all JAW DROPPINGLY SPECTACULAR! I am the luckiest sister in the world so I feel sorry for all of you who aren't as blessed....jk...not really though they are amazing!

I love being able to call my sisters through everything! When I changed my name I called DeNae and Kassy just to tell them I was a Nichols again or to talk about family get togethers or to get important advice. Those two are my big sisters they're always there!
When I need to cry and I'm angry at the world I send long emails to Chelcie or call Michelle and they listen or comfort me, they might be younger but they are two people I admire a ton in this world
When I hear from Kip, Kimberly always sends her love or she's probably the one reminding him to call his family....:)
When I need uplifting spiritual words I go to the many GREAT books Nicole has got for me.
They are all apart of my life! I have a desire to get a tattoo I know I shouldn't and I WON'T but I love the Celtic Symbol for sisterhood! My sisters are everything to me so I thought I would do a blog in their honor because they are G-R-E-A-T!
So meet my sisters!

Warning! Some pictures may be pirated or old it's what I could get my hands on ok!

DeNae... is the oldest and such an example to me! She's beautiful inside and out, loving, ambitious, fun, level headed, strong headed, and just all around AMAZING! Her and I have grown close over the few years and I'm grateful for our relationship! There is no judgement between us. She would bend over backwards for anyone close to her! So giving! I really do call her when I need to fume and she talks to me like an adult she doesn't B.S. and it helps because we are so much alike! She's so successful and smart! Really when and if she decides a guy is worth time he will be the LUCKIEST man in the world because she deserves the BEST!

She's beautiful even with funny faces

Kassandra or Kassy....Has been a great friend! Not only is she my sister but she's the one I talk to the most. If we don't talk for a while she'll call me or I'll call her. We talk about movies, life, boys, family, work, school, and everything & in between! She knows me really well. I could tell her anything and know it's between her and me and she would never betray me or judge me. She's supportive and so loving! Plus we shared a room Growing up so...we had to get along :) Love ya!

Kassy is a trooper this is shortly after a surgery and she looks awesome!

Chelcie (but I call her SHISHI).......There is so much to say about Chelcie! We've fought, we've loved, we've cried, and we're always on the same page. There are days where I feel like she's my other half! I admire her sooooo much! She's super strong, always keeps her cool, walks away from confrontation(unlike me..), funny, athletic, and the list continues! She's the Ying to my Yang! We sync. I'm probably in the least contact right now with her than I have had my entire life and I miss her! But we email and it's funny because we really do laugh together and cry together! I love ya sis!
Always making all of us laugh

Kimberly....She has been so kind as to put up with Kip he can be overwhelming! I'm very grateful for her giving birth to my two adorable Nephews! She's always been soft spoken around the family but such a good sport because well all of us can be a little overwhelming...and Kip is just a piece of it! I know I love her and so does the rest of the family so Kimberly thanks for always being great and joining our family! (Someone has to love Kip) JK..Sorta

Michelle...The adopted sister! She's literally my best friend in real life! I love her! She's been an example to me through the hardest times in life and we fight and argue but we always just shake it off! As if we're real sisters...blood! We pig out together...laugh a spiritual.......and best of all just live! We click and have since middle school??? It's been a long time. She's always sending me words of support! And I believe she has such a HUGE purpose in my life! More than anyone could imagine! I adore you!

Nicole.....Her birthday is on Sunday and I'm so excited because I'm gonna try to text her at exactly midnight. She's so good at remembering everything! So creative and fun. She really has gotten me some of the most uplifting books in my life. I love Nicole so much! I should tell her more often! When I first moved in with the Chapins I looked up to her a lot! I still do! Her style is always cute, she's clean and organized, she is spiritual, but best of all she is such a KID! Which makes me laugh. One of my favorite memories though Michelle hates it is when she would call Michelle "Face" because it would just push buttons and Nicole would do it in a little kid voice! Cracked me up! I hope you know HOW MUCH you mean to me Nicole!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next.Amen."
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Tonight at work all I could do to get through the stress and fight off the tears was to repeat this in my is not what I expected. Can I rewind? Erase? Does it matter I'm the girl I was on 12/01/06? Would suicide fix it?? No just cause more pain for the ones I siblings, friends, and loved ones. Will this new start be a clean slate? Can I convince the court to not make me see him if I have everything done ahead of time? I can't eat...when I do I want to throw up...Anxiety has hit. Bills, work, gym, no vacation. NO SCHOOL.....maybe next year? No maybe, next year! In Washington! No more Utah. No more him. Restraining order comes to mind after August. After this is over it's OVER! No more. No talking to Bishops about temple divorces....nothing. I'm not doing this anymore. When I'm ready then it will happen. The term don't apply to me nor sway me. No interest. Just interest in being alone, being educated, having dogs, a cobblestone house, being near family, and travel. I don't care...I STOPPED CARING! Can't you let go? I'm doing my best but it's not good enough. I will finish this. It will be done...then you can kick yourself. I will give myself a pat on the shoulder. Life is moving forward yet i'm standing still. September will be a new start. One year from August and I move home to my roots. No more of this life or this crap. The end. If this offends you don't comment....please.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


So for those of you who have been following my blog you know that I was supposed to go to Moab the end of June with friends. Well one of the couples that were suppose to go couldn't. Mickelle and Shawn were the other couple going and they had taken time off for the trip and before to go to Colorado to see Mickelle's family. So when plans started falling through I just said I'll stay and work. Mickelle being the AMAZING friend she is was like yeah right! She called me the night we figured out we weren't going to Moab for sure "Chyla, there is a 7:40 a.m. flight to Denver on Saturday the 27th book it." Now I wanted to go to Moab because I had never been....well guess what? I had never been to Colorado either!! Yay for me!
So on our way up through Estes park we saw a bear and her two cubs. Shawn got a video of's only half the video with these four pieces.

So the first day we went hiking through Estes Park! We saw so many awesome things! I was so excited to be there!This was partially up the hike I saw the cliff and wanted to go look out over it! It was breath taking and I'm just so small compared to all that around me.

Then Mickelle and I with a shot together :)
This was our first mile stone on the way up a B-E-A Utiful! (Got that from shawn) Waterfall
Mickelle's Parents are SO active. They have been all over! I see where Mickelle gets it. I hope to be like that with my future spouse someday!

So Mickelle thinks she's sneaky! Well she is! Shawn claims he wasn't sleeping he was just "pretending" (Mickelle and I both know it's like him talking in his sleep and claiming he knows what's going on) So my explanation....I woke up Friday at 10 a.m. called work to see if they were busy enough to need me for the morning. They didn't! Yay I had so much to do! I did laundry, packed, got last minute things, and then went to work for my closing shift. I got off around midnight...and was dead! I didn't want to sleep in and miss my flight at 7:40 a.m. so my friend went to eat with me at IHOP the dropped me at the airport for the night. I read and waited to check in...I checked in at 6 a.m. and waited more! Well I landed in Denver (coolest airport ever!) Mickelle and her mom were their to pick me up :) We got back to their house got ready for a hike....We hiked 10.5 miles ......I still had not slept. We ate at this awesome BBQ place up in Estes Park and this is the result on the way home. I was BEAT!


So my second day there was Sunday I woke up went to church...a singles ward...lucky for me Mickelle's parents have a calling in the local singles ward so that's where we attended. We got home sorta relaxed out on the back porch in the sun. I ate the most awesome Dutch oven meals (aside from rayme's ribs) with chicken, potatoes, carrots (my favorite), and celery! Mickelle's dad is and awesome cook! So after dinner we headed over to the bishop's house to play some Pickleball...I had never played and it took me a few times to get the hang of it but I like it! It was fun times. Then to end the day we walked around the lake by their house and I saw MILLIONS of prairie dogs...EEEK!

On Monday we went to the zoo! The Denver Zoo! Check and Check one more thing I've done that I hadn't before! It was just Mickelle, Shawn, and Myself for the day. We were all pretty excited to go. We saw monkeys, Hyenas, tigers, bears (the polar bears were my favorite), snakes, fish, and many more! Oh and Seals! They were fun too.

This snow leopard if you look close is laying on it's back with it's legs spread sleeping it was so funny!

So this arangatang was soooo funny! He just sat there and looked at his hand would look at me and stick his tongue out and then go back to looking at his hand.

Huge Snapping turtle! WOW look at it!


So on our last day in Colorado we went to the Rodeo!!! YEE HAW! We got corn dogs, cotton candy, funnel cakes, fresh squeezed lemonade, and fresh brewed root beer! YUM! I love fairs food, atmosphere, rides, and Cowboys!

They are so cute together!
The Rodeo has begun!!!

They are eating their funnel cake! Mickelle was so excited
I was so excited to have root beer and cotton candy.

I am really not as tired as I look :)


So here are a few shots of canyons driving back through Southern Utah. We stopped in Ferron where Shawn grew up and we went fishing with his parents! My first time fishing! It was so fun there were so many different types of trout I caught four total....I think we just caught them and let them go. It was fun I decided when i retire I'm gonna live on a boat and fish all day everyday! :)

My trip was so fun! I loved it! Mickelle and Shawn crack me up and they are definitely how I want to be when I get married again. They are best friends and just click! Mickelle's parents were so cute and I'm grateful that I was able to stay there and they were so hospitable. :)